Friends and Reciprocity

"IF YOU CAN'T STAND FOR ME, THEN DON'T LEAN ON ME!"

Lately, I have been using the phrase "To have good friends, you have to extend yourself to be a good friend". I told this to my daughter one day as she is maneuvering through this world trying to surround herself with good people. Then, I thought about my friendships over the years. In some, I gave unquestionably, so much that I sacrificed me. It was draining, but I did not even realize the release of energy, release of my spirit, and the effect on my soul until someone close to me, a true friend, forced me to look in the mirror and evaluate my relationships.

I did. It was eye opening and painful because I had to let go of people who I thought were friends, and I also had to question why I was unaware and what was it in me that made me want to give and live in oblivion. I asked myself. Then, it dawned on me. I was longing for connectedness, but I was looking in the wrong place. Instead of giving so much of self to others, I had to shift and focus on me. I had to get to know me and love me. I had to understand the root. So, I found myself really back in Bible study. I began my devotionals, and I started hearing the voice of God and seeing God in so many things. I finally understood that he was all I needed to fulfill. Once I got to that point, I realized that I would attract the right people, the right energy, because God would place them in my path.

Philippians 4:19 says "But my God shall supply all of your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

He has done so and continue to hold true to his word.

In evaluating my friendships, I, too, had to see if I was a taker. I have been as well, and I have also been inconsistent. Coming to this revelation allowed me to see how fearfully and wonderfully made I am. It allowed me to see how in my brokenness, in my failures, in my weakness, in my neediness, that I was still great. I was still whole cause God does not make any mistakes. I just had to add all the pieces together that were given before taking breath on this side.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart, I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." (Jeremiah 1:5)

"Me!" I was set apart. So, I now know I did not have  to run behind people and always give, give, give, to be a good friend. Friendships, relationships, good ones, are founded in the base of reciprocity. People must add value to each other's lives. So, those are the relationships I now welcome rather an search for.

Fast forward, I am riding in the car with my husband, and we are discussing one of our mutual friends. I said, I should reach out to her because we have not in a long time. And, I did. I invited her to join me in an event. I said, "To have good friends, you have to extend yourself to be one." He replied, "Yes!"

So, here is to being a good friend. Remember, some are with us for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime. You do not have to talk everyday or every month. You just have to SHOW UP for one another. SPEAK LIFE into and over one another. Tell one another the truth.

In all relationships, in life, we will all have to "Pay what we owe!" (Boondocks...lol) How will your account stand?

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